From England with determination Part 2

It was raining heavily, was this a bad omen or was it there just to cool me down. I walked to the reception and asked for a taxi, my hands trying to explain what a taxi was. Luckily for me the receptionist spoke excellent English, Well what was i to know this was France.

I waited with just my holdall in the lobby reeling through what lay ahead.

Ten minutes seemed like an eternity, was everyone looking at me, did they know what I was doing, Surely I looked nervous. The taxi pulled up, I walked slowly out the cool rain refreshing on my face. It was only then i started to smile.

To my delight the driver was a lady very charming as she spoke French on my entering the car. I quickly refered to myself as English in the manner of Im sorry I do not understand you, She smiled lightly and re-frased herself in broken english, and asked me where I was going.....
But before I start my story here is a little background into the French Foreign Legion......

Recurring Nightmare

Dark clouds loomed overhead, cold wind bellowing around my ears the distant cries of the wounded tormented my every step.
Sweat, blood and dirt blurred my vision, my weapon was getting heavier by the second. So much noise but why did i feel so alone. Hundreds, no thousands of dead bodies lay in front of me and under foot.
A war zone, soldiers lay where they had fallen. vacant stares into the dark skies, to my front was a hill but it was not made up of earth but or bodies, i stagger to the top alone in a world i did not belong.

FIVE: A Little about Me

I was born on 29/4/1971, at Luton and Dunstable Hospital weighing in at a healthy 7lb 8oz. Born into a working class family My Father also Alan a butcher, the bread winner and workaholic. My mother Karen a house wife, who i would only see for the next ten years of my life.

Growing up wasn't much fun, not really remembering any kind of fun, oh i do remember my mother hitting me quiet a lot, shouting at me she wished I had never been born. Somethings stick in your head when your only seven. My father would come home from work tiered and miserable, we all had to be quiet as the news would be on and he wanted to watch it.

I grew up with a brother and sister, my brother 2 years younger and sister 6 years younger. Yes I was the eldest and didn't I know it.

1981 a year that always sticks in my mind, the year everything changed for me, at the time i thought it was great but looking back it was the start of much unhappiness....Mother had an affair, Father suffering from depression, We where pushed from pillar to post being looked after by all sorts of family that I never knew existed. My father fought bravely in the courts to keep custody of his three children and won against the odds. My mother went about her business, and carried on the affair she had with my fathers best friend.

FOUR: From England with Determination

The tapping of the rain, sent me into a foetal position within the bed, a warm sense of well being engulfed my body together with a cold chill of excitement. The phone call from my brother had eased me slightly, Knowing there was at least one person in the world that cared.
This was it, this was the first day of the rest of my life. One hundred euros in my wallet and a gym bag of essentials was all i possesed. No more looking back now that was all gone, my family, my business, my wife, my sanity.......i was an empty canvas awaiting fresh paint.


What was I doing here, in France, i couldn't even speak the language for god sake. I sat in the best western hotel across from airport watching the T.V, a rambling of this new tongue on every channel made my head spin. It dawned on me and I could not help myself from sobing.
I was not gonna sleep well this night, my world thundered through my mind. All the reasons for me being here where now making sense, but what was i afraid of.
My mobile phone startled me, drawing me away from my trance like state.
A familiar voice calmed me instantly. My Brother, A last ditch attempt to stop me from running away. No use as when I do something I do it.


You would have to be mad to join the French Foreign Legion, no not mad just lost and still with purpose of being found, a yearning to survive the rigors of life and throw back its misery in full face.

December 2000
After loosing my family, my business and my will to live i looked across the English channel, the answers lay a mere 30 miles away, the dark sea swelled crashing along the south coast, winter would soon set fast. I pulled up my collar around my neck shrugging off the cold wind, turning back towards the hospital my mind was made up.

ONE: Treasured life

Out of the darkness, a pin prick of light exposed the dust motes of my life.
Only now did i know something was about to happen......Or was it just the beginning of of a rapid end?